Used by permission from Nautilus Homepage
(Feel free to substitute
"REALLY MEANS" for "means" where appearing)
You smell like diesel oil
You know what "Handle it" means
You can "handle it", even under pressure
You know what "Field day" means
You know what the goat locker is
You know Hogan
You have ever gotten Hogan's goat
You are not as screwed up as Hogan's goat
You have ever found the golden rivet
After finding the golden rivet, you glow in the dark
You glow in the dark, even
without finding the golden rivet
You have ever drank bug juice
You know what "Bermuda road rash" is
You have ever slept alongside a "fish"
You know what "hot bunking" means
You know when your bunk
feels like a sandy beach, it is time to change the sheets
You know Mattress Back (name)
You have ever been blasted by an air expulsion head
You know Line Locker Louie
You know Lower Level Louie
You know who says, "Just
one more, just one more"
You know that no one ever really owned a plank
You know what a PANOPO is
You know SOCAT(SS)
You know COMSUBMEX
You know Archibald Assolson
You know when things have gotten out of hand
You know what a "My Wife" chit is
You speak acronym, fluently
You know what Kingston valves are
You know what poppet valves
are
You know that bulkhead flappers are not dancers
You know that an ORSE is not an English horse
You know that ping jockeys do not ride pings, or horses
You know what "Ho Ho Ho" means
You know what "Blow and go"
means
You know what "going critical" means
You know what "Rig for dive" means
You will go down anytime
You know what a GREEN board is
You know what a straight
board is
You know what a klaxson is
You know what "AOOOGAH AOOOGAH" means
Your house takes a down angle when someone blows a car horn twice
You know what "Dive Dive" means
You know what "Take her
down" means
You know what "Blow negative to the mark" means
You still remember the shapes of those handles, even after the lights go out
You can still relate the shape to the tank, even after the lights go out
You know what "Rig for RED" means
You know what "Rig for
silent running" means
You don't make any noise that a fish doesn't make
You know what "Rig for deep submergence" means
You do it deeper
You know what "Run silent, run deep" means
You have bored holes
throughout the oceans, for months at a time
You have been to the choke point, several times
You found your belt getting shorter during a deployment
You would never commit a SINS
You have ever heard the words "What is SHA?"
You know what a "familygram"
is
You know what "No periscope" means in a birth announcement
You have seen a pack of camels being led through the control room
You have caused the evaluating psychiatrists to leave the boat ahead of schedule
Most people wouldn't trust you with a canoe or a rowboat, let alone a submarine
You know what "angles and
dangles" mean
You know what a "chicken switch" is
You know that the Tunafish is NOT the chicken of the sea
You know what a horny (toad) towed array is
You know what "To the pole" means
You have ever heard of a
retractable whip antenna being used as an ice probe
You know what "Get me up" means
You know how to "Follow the bubble"
You know that there are two kinds of ships, submarines and TARGETS
You are NOT assigned to a "target"
You have ever heard the
words "What is the estimated range sonar?"
You have ever heard the words "What is the distance to the track?"
You have ever heard the words "Is it safe to come to periscope depth?"
You have ever looked out a periscope and seen nothing but a target's hull
You know what periscope liberty is
You know that periscope
liberty generally includes a shower.
Thank you Aux
You shoot at things you can't see
You know that a "snapshot" is not a photograph
You know what a "Hot run in the tube" means
You know what "Hot,
straight and normal" means
You are among those who "Care enough to send the very best"
You have never left the barn doors open
You have spoken with Gertrude on occasion
You know how much maneuvering is done in the maneuvering room
You know what "going home
turns" means
You know what "Prepare to snorkel" means
You know what "Commence snorkeling" means
You know what "Prepare to snorkel ventilate" means
You know what "Commence snorkel ventilating" means
You know what "Prepare to
surface" means
You know what "Surface Surface Surface" means
You know what "Blow safety" means
You know what "Blow the forward group" means
You know what "Blow the after group" means
You know what "Give it a
normal blow" means
You know what "Prepare to surface without air" means
You know what "Commence a low pressure blow" means
After a deployment, your wife makes you leave your laundry outside
After a deployment, your wife makes you strip before you enter the house
After a deployment, your
wife doesn't have to make you strip
After a deployment, you are undressed before you even get home
After a deployment, your wife makes YOU stay outside
You know what "Snorkel through the alfalfa" means
After a deployment, your wife makes you . . .
You know what it means to
be all caught up in 15 minutes
Your tombstone reads "Make my depth 6 feet"
© 1999 Al Charette, USS Nautilus Crewmember